Origins & Reasons for this Blog, see here.
I
came across this statement in a book My
Bonnie by former ITV (UK) newscaster John Suchet. Many situations
experienced by Mr. Suchet with his wife Bonnie have paralleled those with my wife (
Mary Ann ). His spouse was diagnosed with dementia in 2006. Sadly, Bonnie died in April, 2015 at the age of 73. Over those ten years John Suchet asked the
same questions of himself that ponder through my mind today.
In
relation to the health of those who care for people who have serious mental, dementia and associated physical disabilities, being a carer will kill you if one does not take needs
of their own life into perspective. Questions like “what will happen if I get
seriously ill from stress – or, even get dementia ” spring up. In my own
particular case I am nine years older than my wife who is now 63. She suffers from early onset rare Fronto-Temporal Dementia ( FTD) - often called " Young Dementia ".
The
potential for mental and physical health problems for older carers is immense.
You live the life of the person for whom you care, as well as your own. The
experience is "Always on Call, Always Concerned " as depicted by a UK Carer's Trust report.
Hence,
a carer has a duty to take care of themselves for the sake of BOTH themselves and their loved ones.
And quite often a person must fight for the rights to receive
respite to keep themselves well. I have been fortunate in not only receiving
support from three adults daughters, those mental health charities listed on
links of this blog, but occasionally even from social services with respite
trips. These have usually been spent going to Scotland, Switzerland or other parts of Europe for ice curling
adventures.
Curling is an Olympic sport and personal activity that helps my mental health amidst the anxiety of caring for someone with a serious mental illness or dementia. It is also a sport that has lost some international players to suicide brought on by mental illness. "Curling for Mental Illness" is advocacy, as shown in a 2013 mental health campaign throughout Canada.
Curling being played in Kent, England
Nonetheless,
make sure that your caring for another does not cause so much stress that the
experience literally ‘ kills you.’